Forever
by the lights of paris
Summary: "You'll leave me, everyone leaves." "I wouldn't do that to you. Not now. Not ever." "You promise?" "I pinky promise swear," She laughs for the first time since the accident. He wipes her tears away and plants a soft kiss on her lips before getting up to leave. "Be back tomorrow?" "Promise." CB ONESHOT POST 5.1O


**Title: **Forever.

**Summary: **"You'll leave me, everyone leaves." "I wouldn't do that to you. Not now. Not ever." "You promise?" "I pinky promise swear," She laughs for the first time since the accident. He wipes her tears away and plants a soft kiss on her lips before getting up to leave. "Be back tomorrow?" "Promise." CB ONESHOT POST 5.1O

**Authors Note: **I couldn't get this out of my head when I was thinking of what to write. It's not my best work and very angsty.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

Louis left her the moment he had heard about the car crash. His Fiancee had lost her baby - their baby - trying to run away with her ex lover. It was a disgrace. He hadn't even bothered too call, or text, or even email. He had left her a note. She had read it when she got home from the Hospital. Her eyes skimming over the words. She expected her eyes too fill with tears and for her too break down but she found herself not caring. She was hurt but not hurt beyond repair.

Nate left her the moment his The Spectator fell apart. He went over too Mexico, trying to set another Spectator up over there. He promised too keep in touch, he told her that it wasn't her fault. But she knew it was. His paper had printed the news about the break up of her and her French Boy Toy. He had made her look good but in the public's eye it was bad. She cried a little for his leaving.

Dan left her the moment she told him she loathed the sequel too Inside. Calling it unbelievable and stupid. He told her that she was an ungrateful bitch whose child died because they wouldn't ever want to know such a person. He tried calling her for days but she never picked up. She cut all ties off with him and curled up in a ball and cried because she knew it was true.

Her mother left her when Waldorf Designs fell under because of her daughter's failure at life. Eleanor couldn't look at her the same way again, her daughter's choices had made her lose everything she had ever worked for. She never called, too check up on her, see how she was doing.

Her father had left a long time ago and now she barely heard from him. She didn't cry over it, she had gotten used too it by now. A card here and then but never a phone call or a visit. Nothing too personal. She was a disgrace too the Waldorf name. She understood why.

Serena left her the moment a new man came into her sights. She left for Europe. She promised she would write, call, text _and _email but it had been a month and so far she hadn't done a single one. She cried at Serena leaving her. She wept for days. Cursing and screaming and crying. Dorota had a hard time cleaning the tear stains out of her comforter and pillows.

Her minions left her when they found a new leader too follow. They claimed that Queen B was no Queen anymore. Just a depressed washed up has-been miss and hit Princess. She was actually glad too see them go but as she did she saw everything she had lost because of a simple mistake.

Chuck visited her everyday. He stayed with her. He pushed her hair back and cuddled her as she cried. He listened too her as she talked. Kissed her when she wanted him too but _only _when she wanted him too. He had become polite. A stranger. A passing figure. She felt as if she didn't know him and that he didn't know her.

The bulimia started up again shortly after Dan had murdered her with words. A finger down a throat, tears arising in her eyes, vomit escaping from her mouth, the self loathing and hatred. It was all familiar and _easy_. Dorota ignored it. She hadn't left _yet_ but she was slipping away. Just after her minions left Chuck started too notice and sent her to rehab. She screamed and screeched at him. She clawled at his skin but he wouldn't take no for an answer. Finally she agreed, she was sick of fighting.

She stayed in the Rehab for exactly thirty five days. Chuck was there too greet her when she came out, peonies in hand, chocolates in the other. She greedily took both and he lead her too the limo. He dropped her off at home and then went too his own Empire. She felt more alone then she had in Rehab.

The bulimia started up again on the anniversary of the accident, just as Chuck had suspected. He held back her hair as she retched, wiped away her tears and fears and kissed her until she cried no more. He took her to Rehab again and stayed with her for a week. A month after she got out, they moved in together and everything seemed too be working out.

Until their fight. It was deadly and explosive. She called him a coward and chucked every bad thing he had ever done back in his face, screaming nobody could ever love a monster like him and he had brought up the death of her child. She had run out of their house, the one they had purchased together and into the cold winter New York streets. She found herself at the Met Steps. She pretended that she was Queen before realising that this fairytale didn't have a happy ending.

He found her half an hour after she had left and slung an arm over her shoulder pulling her closer too him. He mumbled an apology and swore he was sorry. He swore it on his fathers grave _and _his mothers. She told him that maybe one of them should move out for a little while. He offered too be the one to leave. She agreed. He still came by everyday and eventually he proposed.

She refused his proposal and he went home heartbroken. He didn't visit her for two days but she didn't want to get married. Not now. Not ever. The thought brought her too much pain because he would expect children and that was something she could never go through. A lump would rise in her throat and she would think about the easy way out: A finger down a throat. But she quickly banished all thoughts from her mind.

She explained too him why she had refused his proposal and he said he still wanted too marry her but he understood. He asked if he could move back in but she thought it would be best if they spent some time apart. He told her Bass Industries had offered him something in Asia. He was with her right up until he had too leave.

"You'll leave me, everyone leaves."Blair cried.

"I wouldn't do that to you. Not now. Not ever." He assured her.

"You promise?" She asked, her voice no higher then a whisper.

"I pinky promise swear," He agrees.

She laughs for the first time since the accident. He wipes her tears away and plants a soft kiss on her lips before getting up to leave.

"Be back tomorrow?" She questions him.

"Promise." He says.

But he can't be. He's in Asia. He doesn't return for six days and those six days are hell. When he gets back she begs him too marry him but he refuses, a smirk on his lips. She whacks him and calls him an ass. She's finally returning to normal, but what is normal?

On the second anniversary of the accident her father calls. He tells her hes sorry for not calling and she tells him it's fine. She's lying, it's not fine. She weeps until she's bleed her eyes dry and then weeps some more. In the morning Chuck is gone. She sighs and finds a note from him. She hopes it's not like the one Louis left her. It's not. He's just gone down to pick up her favorite from the Bakery.

She watches Tiffany's for the first time in two years. She switches it off half-way through. She's sick of happy endings because she knows she'll never have one. Everything's different. She'll never return too normal.

The year passes by in slow motion and she eventually finds work. It's for some fashion magazine but it barely registers in her mind. She has nightmares nearly every night and she sometimes finds her hands still wondering down too her stomach. She's lost her bump. Barely any reminder that she was ever pregnant. At first she thought it was a curse, the pregnancy, but she now knows losing her baby was the curse.

In December she runs into Louis. He sees the ring on her finger and scoffs. She read he married a month after he broke off their engagement. He asks her if she's happy and she replies with a no. He's taken by surprise but tries to hide it. She doesn't ask him. She doesn't want too know.

Nate comes back but she barely sees him. He avoids her. She avoids him. Serena doesn't return, last she heard she married the boyfriend she had run off with. Good for her. She needs some stability but Blair expects a divorce in three months time.

She sees Dan time from time when her and Chuck visit Lily. He says a stiff hello and she says nothing. Her mouth set in a straight line.

On the third anniversary she takes her own life. She throws herself off some bridge, the name is unimportant to her. Chuck's the only one who cries and he cries every day after her death but the pain had ended for her and for that he was glad even if it meant losing her.


End file.
